At what point does relational dependency become unhealthy? What about relational indepency? How do you know

At what point does relational dependency become unhealthy? What about relational indepency? How do you know whether or not you are experiencing interdependency in marriage?

Expert Answer

 Dependency in a relation is very normal and a common thing. Infact mutual dependency is a fact of life. That is, both the partners depend on each other to fulfill the needs. Like say for instance, take a couple, the man is employed and the women is unemployed, yet takes care of the entire household chores and kids. The women depends on her husband for all the financial needs. And the man depends on his wife for all the other things like food, laundry, etc. Such type of dependency is very common.

When a relation becomes an unhealthy dependency, then that creates problem. Conditions arise out of that relation and people rebel when there is even a slightest change of what they think and what they want. That is because, they got accustomed in depending on the other person in such a away that it will no longer be a responsible relationship with a shared dependency.

Too much of dependency is unhealthy. The point where a person depends on the other person becomes unhealthy when the person no longer feels he is strong enough to help himself or herself. He gets weak until and unless he depends on the partner. There are of people out there try hard not to need any one because, they associate dependence with weakness, insecurity and irresponsibility. But the fact is, we being social beings, need emotional nurturing and caring. Without which we cannot be happy, healthy and contended. So, it is very important to depend rightly in healthy ways and avoid pitfalls of imbalance and  irresponsible dependence.

A relational independence is being independent in a relation, yet by being dependent. A healthy dependence is a healthy independence in a relation. That is being reliable to each other, yet, having an ability to depend on oneself by being confident, by standing for oneself, and by taking responsibility for one’s own well being. This generates strength and happiness in themselves. It is very important to note that, healthy independence is needed to support the healthy dependence.

When you are completely dependent on your spouse for all your needs and if your spouse depends on you for all his needs, then it indicates that you are experiencing interdependency in your marriage.

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